PLDT, Smart, & Globe: All Talk, No Service

How many times, when calling to report speed issues, or outtages, have you gotten the standard “Please allow 24 to 48 hours to correct this problem”

Then after 48 hours, problem remains unsolved, so you call again, and you get, “we will follow up on that and get back to you within 24 hours.

Then after 24 hours, nobody has gotten back to you, and the problem is still unsolved, so you call again, and get another stupid fucking “we’ll follow up on that”. So I ask, “Oh so you’re going to follow up on the follow up that you didn’t really follow up on?”

24 hours pass again, you call and now they’re going to follow up on the follow up on the follow up. And it just goes on and on until by chance your connection manages to come back on after a week or so.

Then you refuse to pay the full amount of your bill because you went a week without service, then they threaten to cut off your service. I say “what service?” I’m supposed to pay my bill but you don’t have to deliver the services as promised?

How very typically stupid of filipinos. Idiots.

More About Globe And Their NON-Service

Globe Telecom, Inc., one of the Philippines’ top telecommunications companies, has pioneered services in different ways, including delivery of the newest technologies.

Its innovative G-Cash SMS-based service enables money transfers and purchases and payments via mobile phones. It has made Internet connection possible on handheld devices, first through GPRS, and later through Mobile Broadband 3G for high-speed internet browsing and multimedia streaming.

Globe Telecom’s commitment to the customer serves an end-all: enhancing people’s lives. From Ayala Corporation Website

EQualizer Post:

I have read your previous posts about consumer harassment by unscrupulous debt collection agencies.

For a change, here’s a  different story about how consumers are treated by telecom companies. Unbelievably, this is from GLOBE TELECOM, a joint venture between Ayala and Singtel, two of the most respected companies in the ASEAN region.

January 3

1) My call to Globe Customer Service (211):

Computer voice:

Good afternoon welcome to Talk To Globe hotline:

Press 1 for English Instructions

Press 2: For Rewards, Billing, Roaming or Account Related Assistance

Press 1: For Mobile, Mobile Browsing or Tattoo

Press:2 For Postpaid

Press O:To Talk To A Customer Assistance Representative

Sorry All our Agents  are busy.You can use our live chat at www.globe.com

Should you want to wait to talk to our representative,press 0

Sorry all our representatives are busy now.

2) I decided to try the Globe live chat at www.globe

Welcome to the new, improved Globe website Please bear with us as we are still doing some tweaks and chasing a few bugs here and there. If you find any errors, We would love for you to let us know, simply flag them using our little red Flag This buttons that you can find on each page. Thanks for your patience and for choosing Globe.

Need Assistance?

Sorry, our Globe chat assistance representatives are busy now , email us or try our direct line at Globe 211

3) So I decided to send an email to Globe:

Name:wrote my full name Telephone Number:0917——–

home address:wrote my full home address birthdate:wrote my birthdate(account verification) Mother’s maiden name:wrote my mother’s maiden name (for account verification)

Request:Change of Plan:Fully loaded P299 plan effective January 15.My current plan ends on January 14. Pls confirm the implementation of my request

Email Reply of Globe

From: Globe Telecom Chat Assist Service <gtcas@globetel.com.ph> To: My gmail account Sent: Monday Subject: Chat Assist Auto Reply

Hi there! Don’t forget to send us the following details so we can assist you with your concern as soon as possible:

Account Holder’s complete name

Globe mobile

Globe landline

Your concern as detailed as possible

You can learn more about Globe’s product and services by logging-on  to www.globe.com.ph

Thank you! 4) Considering the futility of the live chat and email complaints, I decided to call Globe 211 again:

Computer voice:

Good afternoon welcome to Talk To Globe hotline:

Press 1 for English Instructions

Press 2: For Rewards, Billing, Roaming or Account Related Assistance

Press 1: For Mobile, Mobile Browsing or Tattoo

Press:2 For Postpaid

Press O:To Talk To A Customer Assistance Representative

Sorry All our Agents are busy.You can use our live chat at www.globe.com

Should you want to wait to talk to our representative,press 0

Sorry all our representatives are busy now.

I waited for 15 minutes and listened patiently to the Globe jingle music.

Finally a live voice:

My name is…. How can I help you?

Me:My two-year locked-in plan with Globe ends on January 14,I like to change it to a P 299 plan.

Assistant: Can I know some personal details first.

What’s your home address?

Me: I live in……..

What’s your birth date?

Me: June……..

What your mother’s maiden name ?

Me: Juanita B……

What’s your middle initial ?:

Me:Didn’t I just give you my mother’s maiden name???

Ah,Ok.Sorry,I can’t verify your contract date now.System problem.Please call again. 5) I called again after two hours ,hoping that the Globe data base system was already ok

Computer voice:

Good afternoon welcome to Talk To Globe hotline:

Press 1 for English Instructions

Press 2: For Rewards, Billing, Roaming or Account Related Assistance

Press 1: For Mobile, Mobile Browsing or Tattoo

Press:2 For Postpaid

Press O:To Talk To A Customer Assistance Representative

Sorry All our Agents are busy.You can use our live chat at www.globe.com

Should you want to wait to talk to our representative,press 0

Sorry all our representatives are busy now.

I waited again for 20 minutes and listened patiently to the Globe jingle music.

Finally a live voice:

My name is…. How can I help you?

Me:My two-year locked-in plan with Globe ends on January 14, I like to change it to a P 299 plan.

Assistant:Sorry, please call 5 days before the contract ends. Me:Ok I will call on January 10.Thank you

6) I called Globe on January 10, 5 days before the expiration of my current locked-in contract,per the suggestion of the customer service representative:

Computer voice:

Good afternoon welcome to Talk To Globe hotline:

Press 1 for English Instructions

Press 2: For Rewards, Billing, Roaming or Account Related Assistance

Press 1: For Mobile, Mobile Browsing or Tattoo

Press:2 For Postpaid

Press O:To Talk To A Customer Assistance Representative

Sorry All our Agents are busy.You can use our live chat at www.globe.com

Should you want to wait to talk to our representative,press 0

Sorry all our representatives are busy now.

I waited for 20 minutes and listened patiently to the Globe jingle music.

Finally a live voice:

My name is…. How can I help you?

Me:My two-year locked-in plan with Globe ends on January 14,I like to change it to a P 299 plan.

Assistant: Can I know some personal details first.

What’s your home address?

Me: I live in……..

What’s your birth date?

Me: June……..

What your mother’s maiden name ?

Me: Juanita B……

What is your requested change of plan?

Me: Fully loaded P299 plan.

What freebies? Options A, B or C?

Me: What are those options?

She explained in detail the three freebies options.

Me:Plan A, extra SMS.

Sir,you need to call on the day itself, January 14.

Me:I was told to call 5 days before! Anyway, I will call on January 14.Thanks.

7) I called on January 14:

Computer voice:

Good afternoon welcome to Talk To Globe hotline:

Press 1 for English Instructions

Press 2: For Rewards, Billing, Roaming or Account Related Assistance

Press 1: For Mobile, Mobile Browsing or Tattoo

Press:2 For Postpaid

Press O:To Talk To A Customer Assistance Representative

Sorry All our Agents are busy.You can use our live chat at www.globe.com

Should you want to wait to talk to our representative,press 0

Sorry all our representatives are busy now.

I waited for 15 minutes and listened patiently to the Globe jingle music.

Finally a live voice:

My name is…. How can I help you?

Me:My two-year locked-in plan with Globe ends on January 14, I like to change it to a P 299 plan.

Assistant: Can I know some personal details first.

What’s your home address?

Me: I live in……..

What’s your birth date?

Me: June……..

What your mother’s maiden name ?

Me: Juanita B……

What is your requested change of plan?

Me: Fully loaded P299 plan.

What freebies? Options A,B or C?

Me: What are those options?

She explained in detail the three freebies options.

Me:Plan A, extra SMS.

Sir,please wait while i check your contract.

After 5 minutes,the lovely voice said:

“Sir,I just checked your contract, it ends on January 15, not January 14.”

Me: Whatever.Just change the plan on January 15 then.

The lovely voice said:Sir, it’s done.This is the confirmation number:FLP11010001856.”

I asked, “what’s your name?”

“Nicole” sir. Pls call tomorrow to confirm implementation.

Me:Why should I call again?

Nicole: to confirm.

Me:Whatever.

8) I got a text message from Globe on the evening of January 14:

Sir, this is — from Globe .The requested change of plan cannot be implemented on January 15 . Per our records, the contract expires on January 16. 9) I reported this crazy mix-up to a Globe manager. 10) I then got a Globe text: Per instruction of Mr ._______ ,we will implement the change of plan on January 15 . 11) On January 15, I got another GLOBE text: “We will charge you on a pro-rated basis for advancing the date of the change of plan from January 16 to January 15.”

Globe Telecom: Like Children Playing Company

Ok, so as usual, got shitty service with my Globe internet connection. (It’s usual to have shitty service pretty much with anything in Philippines).

But anyway, I’ve been dealing with the dynamic IP address connection, and about half the time, I have selective browsing issues (that’s where you can’t access some websites from a particular IP address). So, being that this one website I can’t access from my Globe service is a site I need to access for me to do my job (I work from home), I’ve been dealing with Globe idiots for quite some time. And as usual with filipino idiocy, I have to fight and scream, and beg to get what I am paying for. (Gosh, no wonder 95% of the world community does NOT want to have anything to do with Philippines, especially in business).

So anyway again, they send two dumbshits over to my house to check my connection and router. I prove to them that I cannot access certain sites. They go and recommend to their superiors that they give me a static IP address in order to fix the problem. Their superior calls me and says, “We have a solution, but in order to fix it, we’ll need to charge you an extra 700 pesos for the static IP address.”

Ok, so before I continue with this, I’m curious as hell to know if there’s a filipino out there who can tell me the UTTER AND COMPLETE STUPID FAILURE OF GLOBE IN THEIR CALL TO ME. Please, if you think you know, please comment.

 

APRIL 10 -

Ok, finally got 1 response on this 7 days later, a surprisingly intelligent comment, which goes to show there are a few filipinos out there (and I do mean A FEW – VERY SMALL AMOUNT) which have a measurable level of intelligence.

Anyway, what was wrong with Globe’s call to me, and their solution is this:

I am paying for full access to the internet for p2000/month. I am not getting full access, therefore, I am not getting what I am paying for. I am getting selective browsing, meaning I cannot access certain sites from certain IP addresses they assign me. I don’t care what excuses they have, business is business. I do my part and pay p2000, and they need to do their part to see I get “full access”. They suggest to correct the problem would require a static IP address, fine. Do it, but I should not have to pay more for it. If giving me a static IP address will give me full access, then problem solved.

But most filipinos will not understand this concept. They are too fucking stupid. When you complain that you’re not getting what you’re paying for, you shouldn’t have to pay more to correct the problem dumbasses! It’s up to the company who is providing the service to do whatever it takes at their cost to make sure you are getting what you are paying for.

Such failed brains. Sus!

PLDT Incompetence

PLDT has to be the most incompetent bunch of dumbfucks on earth. Uninterrupted internet service is provided all over the world with ease. Why not in Philippines??? Because, once again, they are all a bunch of incompetent dumbfucks. They hire old mechanical engineers to be network engineers. Might as well hire a fucking nurse to engineer the network!  It took 2 YEARS of fighting and demanding rebates for service not provided due to multiple connection interruptions daily. They charge nearly DOUBLE what you pay in the USA for internet service, yet actually provide very little service. They get away with it because every dumbfuck filipino who subscribes just takes the ass-fucking from PLDT without complaining. They’ll just sit there and wait for 5, 6, 10, 12 hours until they get their internet connection back without a singel phone call or complaint. What a bunch of dumbasses!! I fought for 2 years untill I finally got a stable uninterrupted connection for a year, then I had to move to cebu and start all over again. Right back to daily connection interruptions, and the “follow up in 24 to 48 hours” bullshit, and all the dumbfuck filipino incompetence I’ve come to expect from this nation of idiots. They just continue to insist on primitive methods, cutting corners, shortcuts, and thinking they know it all, when they know little to NOTHING!  These people are poor because they are: #1 LAZY… #2 STUPID… #3 INCOMPETENT… #4 CORRUPT

Filipinos are poor because they are too stupid to be anything else. They have little to no brain activity and I find it amazing they can even wipe their ass after taking a shit.

Why So Many Power Interruptions?

During my stay in Bacolod City, I experienced daily power failures that lasted from 2 to 4 fuckin’ hours long. Any wonder why?

PLDT: A Communications Company Who Can’t Communicate

PLDT (Philippine Long Distance Telephone) has made me laugh so hard so many times, simply because they are so stupid it’s funny.  They provide my telephone and DSL internet connection. All providers here can’t maintain a decent connection, and they’re all crappy, but PLDT least crappy of them all, so I go with them.

Ok, the mechanical push switch to the modem breaks. I call them to ask them to send out a new one. First question from the moron PLDT rep: “Sir, how many computers do you have?”  WHAT THE FUCK?? WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH A BROKEN SWITCH ON THE MODEM????

These idiots say, “it’s SOP sir”

Well my reply is, “don’t they allow you to think? I mean think about the fuckin question!! I’m calling to report my modem switch broke and I need a new one!! Why waste yours and my time asking questions that are completely IRRELEVANT to the issue!! I need a new fucking modem, that’s all!! I don’t want to go through your stupid little list of SOP questions to determine the issue! I already know the issue, I’m telling you the issue, and I want you to fix the issue without having to play 20 fucking questions with you, ok?”

When you call tech support at PLDT, you don’t get a technician, you get some robotic moron reading from a book, unthinking, just treating every call the same robotic way, with the same robotic questions. Mindless…totally mindless. Makes you feel like you’re talking to a machine, and not a person with at least a measurable amount of intelligence.

PLDT: FAIL!!