PLDT, Smart, & Globe: All Talk, No Service

How many times, when calling to report speed issues, or outtages, have you gotten the standard “Please allow 24 to 48 hours to correct this problem”

Then after 48 hours, problem remains unsolved, so you call again, and you get, “we will follow up on that and get back to you within 24 hours.

Then after 24 hours, nobody has gotten back to you, and the problem is still unsolved, so you call again, and get another stupid fucking “we’ll follow up on that”. So I ask, “Oh so you’re going to follow up on the follow up that you didn’t really follow up on?”

24 hours pass again, you call and now they’re going to follow up on the follow up on the follow up. And it just goes on and on until by chance your connection manages to come back on after a week or so.

Then you refuse to pay the full amount of your bill because you went a week without service, then they threaten to cut off your service. I say “what service?” I’m supposed to pay my bill but you don’t have to deliver the services as promised?

How very typically stupid of filipinos. Idiots.

Epidemic Cases Of CRS Amongst Filipinos

One very frustrating thing that boggles my mind, is that native filipinos seem to be born with CRS (Can’t Remember Shit)

I swear to the non-existent god, texting with them is like deja vu. Check this text conversation:

9:23am HIM: What time I should meet you for interview, and where?

9:24am ME:  Please meet me at Starbucks at 2pm

9:24am Him: Ok ok

1:55pm ME: I am here at Starbucks waiting 4 u

1:57pm HIM: Ok I take shower and go there now

1:58pm ME: What??? I said meet at 2pm at Starbucks! You haven’t even left your place yet?

1:59pm HIM: It’s 2pm now, I am going to meet you now!

2:00pm ME: Don’t bother to come, you’re fired before you’re even hired.

It is a common practice when you say “Meet at Starbucks at 2pm” they think that means to prepare to go at 2pm. How stupid can one be???? What is so hard to understand about Meet AT STARBUCKS at 2pm??? That means you are MEETING at 2pm!!! If you’re at home at 2pm, you’re not MEETING at 2pm. Idiots.

Then another thing is, they will agree to be somewhere tomorrow at a certain time, then when they don’t show up, they say “I’m sorry, I have class, I can’t go” BUT YOU KNEW YOU HAD CLASS WHEN YOU AGREED TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE, SO WHY DID YOU AGREE TO BE SOMEWHERE WHEN YOU KNEW YOU COULDN’T BE THERE BECAUSE OF CLASS?????????? IDIOTS!!!!

So You Want To Own A Business Huh?

Source: http://www.subicrocks.com/news/?p=51

So You Want To Own A Business Huh?
Jobs here are done ever so slowly, as the thinking of the workmen is, if we finish the job, there will be no more work to do. In any other country, of course they know if they fiinsh quickly, they can move onto the next job and their reputation for doing the work fast will help get them more work. Let’s examine this further:

On a daily basis, many comments are uttered, sometimes in a constructive manner, sometimes just as a complaint or expression of frustration directed at foreign business owners and managers, as to job performance or customer service. I wanted to shed some light on the “WHY” of “why can’t this place be run professionally”.

You may come to the Philippines from ANY backround in ANY business, military, entertainment, human resources, whatever. You have NEVER run into what you will experience here.

Believe me or don’t, as a business owner or manager you are dealing with a whole new dynamic, and whole new set of rules in dealing with people, that you cannot fathom. At first you go into denial, then shock, and usually fall into apathy when trying to accomplish the simplest compliance to RULES and REGULATIONS with Filipinos.

I’m generalizing here and there are exceptions to this. And I generally LIKE Filipinos and hold no ill will against them.

You, coming from any western society, have some basic tenants. After getting the job, you show up on time. You work while you’re on the job. You learn as much as you can about every aspect of the job so that you can handle anything that comes up. You make suggestions to make the workplace, product, delivery, and customer service aspects BETTER, etc, etc…You strive to make your customers happy so that they wil return again and again, and you do all of the above in an honest and pleasant manner, and take pride in doing so…

Ok, now THROW ALL OF THAT OUT THE WINDOW.

Imagine living and working in a society where they have not learned these things, and do not necessarily agree with them, or even understand why you would want to act in that way, and in fact, it’s DISCOURAGED!!!!!! You know that little talk your parents gave you when you were about 9 years old, about growning up and acting like an adult? THAT NEVER HAPPENS HERE.

The Filipino work dynamic goes more like this:

1. Having a job is the goal….not actually performing any tasks.
2. ANYTIME, is PLAYTIME.
3. It is perfectly acceptable to lie, cheat, steal, bare false witness, even sabotage the workers, and the workplace if you feel in ANY WAY, you have been insulted or asked to DO SOMETHING beyond or different then what you (or others before you) have been told in the past, or if being told makes you lose face, in the slightest way.
4. If you DO a good job, you will be told you are boastful, or a showoff, and you will be alienated from the rest of the employees, and attempts will be made to get rid of you.
5. ANY CHANGE is immediately rejected and complained about.
6. Getting the salary is the MOST important aspect of having a job, with no thought to earning it, or deserving it.
7. Show up late, if at all, then take a meal, take as many breaks as you can get away with, and sit on your ass as often as you are not being directly supervised, then leave work early.
8. Do not find out about, or learn anything else about your environment, so you will have fewer responsibilities.
9. When asked ANYTHING, say YES, or OK so you will stop being asked, with zero intention of carrying out the thing asked of you, or knowledge of what was being asked.
10. There are no consequences for doing things that would normally get you fired in western society, so do whatever you want to.
11. The BIGGEST CRIME you can commit as an employee is RAT OUT ANOTHER FILIPINO for doing something wrong.
12. Yelling ANYTHING across a room is the norm.
13. Interrupting is normal and the next person to say ANYTHING misdirects the conversation or task. If called to task for interrupting, saying “excuse me” FOR THE PURPOSE OF INTERRUPTING will now be standard.
14. At any point from A to B during a task, the task may be interruped or even forgotten about if ANYTHING occurs in the environment, such as, a friend talking, a loud noise, a sudden movement, or anything else deemed more FUN occurs etc…
15. Tagalog ALWAYS takes presidence over ANY other language especially if there is an ongoing conversation.
16. Cutting in line, or bumping others to get to where you are going is normal.
17. The foreigner owner or manager is “RICH” so this justifies any theft or income related problems.
18. It’s all up to “GOD’S PLAN” anyway, so there is nothing one can do to change anything and ZERO precautions should be taken
19. If it rains on Monday, Tuesday many persons will be absent because of the changing weather.
20. Reasons to be late or absent for work: too much traffic, rain or puddles of water, washing clothes, it was dark, no transportaion available, no electricity, no money, dead, sick or hungry baby or relative or next door neighbor or the slightest fever, headache, runny nose, or bad mood, had to travel somewhere to give money to family, or friend.
21. Superstitions are TRUE and the REAL reason for bad performance or low income is due to whatever superstition was not observed.
22. The environment MUST be noisy.
23. If told to do the duties of the job too many times, a mutiny, coup, or strike is necessary.
24. If Friday is a Holiday, then expect things to start falling apart on Wednesday, as workers get ready for the Holiday. BTW, they won’t ALL return to work until sometime around Tuesday.
25. If your business closes at 9pm, then wrapping up work and getting ready to go home begins at 8pm-8:30pm. This includes putting the cash in the safe, so no change is available, all the way to locking the doors, or pulling down the security shutters. AT 9pm the building will be absent of employees
26. If you try to fire someone from their job, they must be given verbal warnings, written warnings, and suspensions, and all have a certain number of issuances that comply with the Dept Of Labor, or the person can sue for damages.
27. Staff is to work no longer than 90 days or 6 months on the job (depending on the job) so that they are not eligible for benefits. This explains why it’s no one knows what they are doing, since they are new.
28. Anything considered childish in Western society, is cute and fun and desired in local society.
29. Anything not chained down or padlocked is free for the taking.
30. Any new manager or owner that asks anything of any employee is now the target of gossip and rumor. Usually along the lines of, the new manager/owner is not nice, and I wish the old one would come back.
31. If employees are EVER rewarded by management, it will now be EXPECTED and comments will fly about as to management being cheap if the same reward is not repeated. No thanks will be given for the reward.
32. If something gets broken or is stolen, there will be NO witnesses. If broken in the vicinity of a customer, the FIRST thing that happens, is a long pause in activity to determine who is NOT at fault so as to avoid blame and re-payment.
33. If a regular customer orders the same item/drink/food, time after time, no matter what he orders on his next visit, he will get what he ordered last time.
34. When spoken to by management, staff really hear something similar to the Peanuts TV series when adults are talking. Imagine a muted trumpet/trombone wa-wa sound….”Ok, here is what I want you to do. Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa. Ok?” “Yes sir.”
35. Every comment/request to get compliance will be answered with a justification or excuse.
36. An argument with staff, will escalate to “Go Back To Your Country”, or “I will report you to Immigration/NBI/Police” within seconds to get you to back off.
37. If items A/B/C are sold in the store. And those items are the main thrust of the business’ sales, unless acted upon by a manager or owner, those items will not be re-ordered, or “in-stock” and no one will notice or comment on the fact that there is an upcoming shortage of those items.
Hope I haven’t left anything out, and the longer you live/work/shop here, the longer your list…

Note: To retain one’s sanity, you are only allowed to ask ONE “why” question per day…

Globe Telecom: Like Children Playing Company

Ok, so as usual, got shitty service with my Globe internet connection. (It’s usual to have shitty service pretty much with anything in Philippines).

But anyway, I’ve been dealing with the dynamic IP address connection, and about half the time, I have selective browsing issues (that’s where you can’t access some websites from a particular IP address). So, being that this one website I can’t access from my Globe service is a site I need to access for me to do my job (I work from home), I’ve been dealing with Globe idiots for quite some time. And as usual with filipino idiocy, I have to fight and scream, and beg to get what I am paying for. (Gosh, no wonder 95% of the world community does NOT want to have anything to do with Philippines, especially in business).

So anyway again, they send two dumbshits over to my house to check my connection and router. I prove to them that I cannot access certain sites. They go and recommend to their superiors that they give me a static IP address in order to fix the problem. Their superior calls me and says, “We have a solution, but in order to fix it, we’ll need to charge you an extra 700 pesos for the static IP address.”

Ok, so before I continue with this, I’m curious as hell to know if there’s a filipino out there who can tell me the UTTER AND COMPLETE STUPID FAILURE OF GLOBE IN THEIR CALL TO ME. Please, if you think you know, please comment.

 

APRIL 10 -

Ok, finally got 1 response on this 7 days later, a surprisingly intelligent comment, which goes to show there are a few filipinos out there (and I do mean A FEW – VERY SMALL AMOUNT) which have a measurable level of intelligence.

Anyway, what was wrong with Globe’s call to me, and their solution is this:

I am paying for full access to the internet for p2000/month. I am not getting full access, therefore, I am not getting what I am paying for. I am getting selective browsing, meaning I cannot access certain sites from certain IP addresses they assign me. I don’t care what excuses they have, business is business. I do my part and pay p2000, and they need to do their part to see I get “full access”. They suggest to correct the problem would require a static IP address, fine. Do it, but I should not have to pay more for it. If giving me a static IP address will give me full access, then problem solved.

But most filipinos will not understand this concept. They are too fucking stupid. When you complain that you’re not getting what you’re paying for, you shouldn’t have to pay more to correct the problem dumbasses! It’s up to the company who is providing the service to do whatever it takes at their cost to make sure you are getting what you are paying for.

Such failed brains. Sus!

Filipino Blogger Admits Stupidity

I found this blog post so brutally honest, and this filipino is one of the rare cases of filipino honesty. This is so true. Enjoy this. It’s a good read.

 

 

Some years ago, a friend of mine when he took a taxi did the customary conversation with the driver. The latter lapped on with the usual statement that life is hard, etc. My friend asked why life is hard for the driver. The reply was that the driver has two women, and thus a lot of children to feed from both. My friend then answered, “well it’s your fault that life is hard,” and it went back to the “life is what you make it” wisdom.

I'm With Stupid coupleCourtesy of Laughparty.com

This friend of mine also shares with me a certain view: it is hard to change our view that the Filipino is a stupid creature. Like the driver in the taxi, Filipinos just keep on doing the stupidest things without even being concerned whether what they do is right or wrong. Rather, they defend everything they do as right.

They elect a gambler, drunk and womanizer to the highest office in the country; it’s right daw. They suspect their spouse is cheating and cheat the same; it’s right daw. They steal money from an employer because they were denied a raise; it’s right daw. A lady is cheated by her husband, and gets treated like trash, is even battered, but she sticks to her husband despite his obvious harem of women, just to keep the family image intact; it’s right daw. They throw trash on the street and call you stupid for keeping your candy wrapper in your pocket until you find a trash can. Now with the scattered candy wrappers clogging the drains and causing floods, who’s stupid?

When someone like Adam Carolla, Alec Baldwin or Teri Hatcher says something true yet scathing about Filipinos, the latter flares up in a needless rage, while other countries would take such snipes in stride. When they learn that a chocolate product has their name on it (Filipinos Bar), they chase after the company, saying that it is insulting them; meanwhile, other countries would not mind seeing their nationality used as a brand name. Filipinos also habitually spew hot air all over the place, claiming to be the best, when all that they are is the best in boasting. Then news comes of a Filipino animation company that openly committed dishonesty towards a foreign company. Then they wonder why the advanced other countries “oppress” us poor Filipinos.

Of course the example of the taxi driver is one of stupidity thanks to corrupted values and thinking in this country. Some people think that procreation is an absolute must; so when they’re in love, they should have sex and produce children. Why do they do it even if they earn barely enough for themselves? Just because the church said you could (and should) “go forth and multiply“? Hello, that is so OLD Testament. We don’t do that anymore. Hmmm, come to think of it, some have sex thinking that they won’t have children from it. Then the children come out. “Bahala na,” the parents say.

OK, so some people will tell me that I’m cruel to think of other people as stupid. Or even racist to say “Filipinos are stupid.” But the thing is, open your eyes… there they are. Stupidity is a biting reality. Well, for me, at least there are a lot of dumb Filipinos. Those who wouldn’t know a spoon from a fork even if you explain it to them. They’ll just say pareho lang ‘yan, gamit pang-kain. You tell them what’s right and wrong, but they can embrace the wrong even if they know it’s wrong. They may or may not rationalize that it’s right for them, but you’re dead right that they’re dead wrong. “Di naman ‘yan magiging masama kung di mo iisipin na masama ‘yan.” Yeah, right.

However, in conclusion, I would agree that the Filipino is not necessarily dumb. Many Filpinos are “matalino” and all that… they’re just not using their coconut shells. They choose not to. Or they tend to use it the wrong way. Now that I see it, it’s not that they’re stupid. Nagpapakastupid. Nagpapakatanga. Nagpapakabobo. They’re not really stupid. They pretend to be stupid because they think it makes life easier. After all, the thinking process is a painful act.

But exercise can be a necessarily painful act to order to have a healthy body. No pain, no gain. Why can’t they exercise their thoughts to have a healthier mind? It is because Juan Tamad is an influential role model? Or is it just that people always want the good life and are not willing to make the sacrifices necessary for a meaningful and not just a good life? Pakasarap lang ang nasa isip ng mga iyon.

Also, after pretending for so long, can it be that the pretension soon becomes the truth?

Stupidizing the culture can also be blamed on the media (that is owned by local oligarchs). There are lots of “dumb” heroes on screen, which the likes of Judy Ann Santos, Andrew E and Angel Locsin have portrayed. Even foreign media is to blame, with Forrest Gump and Mr. Bean becoming cult icons. It reinforces the myth that dumb people can be happier than wealthy or intelligent people, and that intelligent and wealthy people do not deserve to be happy. So “dumbing down” has been the trend in popular culture, and it has rubbed off on its viewers. And it is a harmful influence.

Filipinos also love to pass the buck; they either blame other people for their problems (GMA) or depend on other people to improve their condition (Noynoy). But they never look to themselves to see if the problem is with them. I rest my case: the stupid are still around. Or at least those who choose to be stupid. And one aspect of the solution to our country’s problems is to de-stupidize the Filipino – not impossible but certainly hard to do at this point in time. But then again, John F. Kennedy said that the harder things are more worth doing.

BDO – Banco De IdiOt

Ok, so I lost my BDO passbook the other day, and I go to my BDO branch office to request a new one. Pretty simple huh? NOPE! Not in this stupid fuckin country!

This is another example of why I say Philippines is like a bunch of 5 year old kids trying to play grown-up.

So, here’s the conversation I had with the BDO filo idiot bank teller:

ME: I have lost my passbook, and would like to have a new one made please.

BDO: Ok sir, you need to go to a notary public and obtain an affidavit of loss and bring it to us.

ME: Excuse me? So you’re saying I need to go to a notary, and tell him/her the same thing I just told you, only they will give me a piece of paper with their fancy stamp on it for 100 pesos, then I bring it to you?  What is the point of that?

BDO: It’s policy sir.

ME: Well it’s a pointless, stupid, redundant policy, and the ONLY thing it accomplishes is causing your customer a huge inconvenience. I have my ID, the same ID you have on file for me with my account here, and so why do I have to go pay someone to stamp a paper saying what I can just say to you here right now????? Don’t you see how fucking stupid and unreasonable, and pointless that policy is????

BDO: I didn’t make the policy sir.

ME: Ok, so can I speak with the complete idiot who made that policy please?  It seems like you people just like to make policies whether they have any reason to them or not. This is fucking stupid. I’m here, right now, with official government ID which you accepted when you approved opening my account, same ID, and 3 other forms of ID, and I’m telling you I lost my passbook, and need another one, but you’re going to make me go pay money to a notary public to give me a piece of paper that says what I’m telling you right now? Do you see how idiotic that is???  

BDO: I’m sorry sir.

ME: Are you sorry for being stupid?

BDO: Yes sir.

ME: Now make me a new passbook, or I’m taking all my money out of your stupid fucking bank, and put it in Citibank, at least that’s administrated by people with a measurable level of intelligence (mainly NOT filipinos!)

I’m telling you, filipinos have absolutely NO sense of customer service or customer convenience. They make policies that make NO SENSE WHATSOEVER all the time, just because some idiot in management thought it’s a good idea. Morons!

 

Marching Band Practice On Busy Highway

I was traveling by bus in Cebu City at 4:30am, and I was mortified to see that a school marching band was allowed to practice on this busy highway at a time of early morning, still dark, when drunk drivers are trying to get home, buses and jeepnies speeding by, and this school thought it was ok to send these youngsters out on the busy major highway in the dark to practice marching band.  Think about it; one sleepy driver nodding off for just a split second plowing into this crowd of dozens of teens and smearing them all over the highway, because filipinos are too fucking STUPID to even keep their own kids safe. DUMB-FUCKS!!

That is the equivalent of let’s say a school in the US sending your kids out to practice on the freeway.

Not only would the teacher be fired, there would be multiple child endangerment charges filed against the school.

THAT IS THE HEIGHT OF IGNORANCE AND STUPIDITY!! WHAT A BUNCH OF DUMB-FUCKS!!!